Balanced Life

Story of the fisherman – my thoughts on growth vs comfort

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I love this story. We get into a rat race and forget that all we ever wanted to have the life we have or had previously. The simple life, before we complicated it. However this is actually part of our evolution because we also need to go beyond the comfort zone, to strive and achieve … and we gain skills and wisdom along the way from our success and from our failure – from our heartbreaks and disappointments and from our stretching of ourselves and experiences that are beyond  the grey, comfort zone. 

This fisherman guy with his pipe may already know what he wants but he may also not know what he is missing – it depends on if he has a dream to follow or not, if he’s doing things out of fear or out of following his heart and if he’s really congruent with his current way of life. 

And the industrialist guy.. is he is simply a projection? Maybe is he not simply reflecting a part of the fisherman calling him to launch into entrepreneurship? ..  or it it the devil testing him .. to see if what he wants and has is still just that.. what he wants … hmmmm… 

My conclusion? 

Change and evolution doesn’t happen in a straight line 

Choose a direction & Follow your heart – first get to know yourself, clear up unresolved stuff and keep following one day at a time! 

 

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How do I harvest the year that just flew past and create that elusive”happy” new year?

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Dear Friends,

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to you all!

And I know this is EASIER said than done – the “happy” part!!!

A week ago I realised the year had raced past. December already?? what? how? I was a little under the weather and felt I couldn’t digest it all. Within just over a year two dear sweet friends had tragically lost their spouses. I was beginning to question a lot about the meaning of all these life changes.. and started to feel quite depressed.

It was overwhelming, I thought about the things I hadn’t yet done, I felt unsure if my choices were the right ones,  I couldn’t even remember the good stuff or nor recognise my own achievements. I certainly didn’t want to “celebrate” JUST because its supposed to be the festive season! I became skeptical and self-doubting – and dreaded what would be looming ahead… because I was absolutely unable to see the big picture of the past 12 months, let alone “make goals” for 2019! Yikes!

Then I remembered that I have the most amazing tool, which I use annually.

So i I took myself into the garden with my big coloured markers and lots of flipchart paper and the magic began!

Through this beautiful coaching process I began to see all the miracles that I have encountered.. all the events and people that I needed to let go of and forgive. I allowed myself to come out of the numb state I was in and with compassion for myself I felt all the joy and all the sorrow that I had stuffed inside. I admired all the skills I had gained even if aquired through challenging uncomfortable situations – and I saw clearly all the pleasant and unplanned surprises.. I even heard the voices of all the amazing people who have encouraged and supported me directly and indirectly.

This is truly a gift and a skill worth having… I am so happy to have it… in NLP we call it “reframing”, other people call it “harvesting” .. and by using various coaching techniques we can permanently resolve the unfathomable, we can clean up our negative thoughts and feelings,  we can clearly set our vision in the part of our minds that control 90% of our behaviour.. we can become still, present, connected and whole again – even when everything around us has been chaotic.. YES!

This is indeed a gift worth sharing with others and who best to facilitate it than someone called a Life Coach?!! Aha! I can show you the HOW of having a “Happy” New Year… for last year and this year!!

So, from my own gloomy miserable day arose my latest offer direct from my heart to yours…

I am offering to SEVEN  people only: individual coaching sessions online at $299 only!

The special session includes a reflection worksheet and a personalised 60 minute session to work on whatever we find is your first step towards a more peaceful, happy, healthy and amazing year ahead.

Available to the first 7 people to enrol only.

Applications by email only:  Nlpwithshilpa@gmail.com
🌈 Shilpa 0722756606

Shilpa Shah
Certified NLP Trainer, Master NLP & Quantum Life Coach, Facilitator & Management Trainer
Inside Out Consultancy, Nairobi, Kenya  Mobile: +254 722 756606 

Meetings, Bloody Meetings

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We all hate long meetings! Who doesn’t? Long conversations that seem to go round in circles with no end. Some think in order to get things done, they need to be long. I have a different opinion on this very important matter.

As a meeting facilitator, I believe I have a solution for you professionals, leaders, and managers. You see, although the details of the meetings are very important and necessary to communicate, the process in how the meeting flows from start to finish is just as imperative. It is the Chair or the facilitator to ensure the process flows as it should.

  1. Creepy Poison Technique: People speaking at a time can draw out a meeting. I teach my clients different ways of talking. Instead, you can give a person a minute to talk, and stick to it. Everyone can write their views or questions and discuss as a group before sharing with the whole group. This saves time and narrows the discussion prosixhatscess.
  2. The Six Thinking Hats Technique: Created by Edward de Bono, it is recommended that the Chair create a space for full participation and have the team to think in six clear functions and roles. This encourages the team to clarify the intentions of the meeting.
  3. Open Space Technology: This method allows for the meeting to be completely owned by the participants. The facilitator is present but invisible. The participants self-organize themselves dealing with the complexity of the issues discussed, diverse solutions, handling any conflict and doing it quicklDisneyMethody.
  4. NLP’s Disney Strategy: This is a process that helps generate solutions to problems. Avoiding our tendency to shoot down ideas that block creativity. Using a structure that has three phases in the generation of ideas. The Dreamer, is what we want to create; The Realist, is how they plan and organize and the Critic reviews the risks.
  5. The Check list: Similar to what many of use already do, this check list emphasizes an efficient flow of dialogue. Were the meeting and the people appropriately introduced?
    1. Was the agenda used, and adhered to?
    2. Was time well managed? (Did the meeting start and finish on time; was the right amount of time spent on each item?)
    3. Were the people well managed – brought into the discussion (or shut up!) as appropriate?
    4. Was someone taking minutes or (better) writing notes onto a flipchart?
    5. Were any necessary formalities observed?
    6. Was the purpose of the meeting clear to all and did we draw real conclusions and make decisions?
  6. Feedback: A method that only has you improving future meetings based on what is said but show the power of vulnerability to those in the meeting. Knowing your weakness is humbling and urges growth.

How I lost that Baby Weight!

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Like many women, I struggled with my weight soon after I had had myweight-loss-scale daughter and turned forty. In addition to being a snacker and foodie, the weight just crept on. I knew I was losing control and wanted to get it back. I know that I am not alone in this battle.

Man or woman, we want to get back in shape in some way or other. It takes many of us many tries. Not one shoe fits all. For some, like me, it took a number of strategies to get me where I needed to be.

I started off with Pilates. a specialized form of exercise that is designed to improve physical strength, flexibility, and posture, and enhance mental awareness. I even had a personal trainer on this part of my journey. I built strength and endurance. It was amazing. However, I was still a size 14. I wanted to be smaller.

My next line of action was to enroll a nutritionist. They often say that you are what you eat. I was listening. But, if you know anything about nutritionists, you know they drive a hard bargain. The strict plan was more than I could handle. Difficult to stick to the regimen of not eating all those food I love, I had to think plan “c”.

Where I should have started is where I ended, at dealing with my habits, working on my emotional state and thus find a way to change my mindset about food and my body.

There is a technique called: “family constellations”. It is essentially an alternative therapeutic method which draws on elements of family systems therapy, existential phenomenology towards family and self. I used this method to deal with the foods I loved but were keeping me from my weight goals. I dealt with the “have it all” attitude which had me indulging in desserts, cappuccinos and pastries. Through the process, I programmed my mindset to choose nature and sunshine rather than the contents of a cookie jar.

Cookie_Jar1_clipped_rev_1There is another technique, “Submodalities” that helped me kick the chocolate-biscuits-eating after dinner. The technique quickly has you have your mind moves something you deem as “yummy” to “yuck”. This powerful method, effectively has you switching your likes to dislikes in minutes. To this day, has me cringing at and wanting to wretch!

One last stop was going to a coach. You see, we have limited beliefs, an illogical way our unconscious minds work. A limiting belief I seemed to carry was that: “If I get slim and attractive, I risk getting pregnant again.” A belief set by a traumatizing pregnancy and delivery. With my coach’s help and through a number of methods including, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Strategic Intervention (Tony Robbins) and EquilibritEion (Janetta Barry).

Losing weight is often an uphill battle. This process had me look outside the box. Even as far as getting a coach for myself, even though I am a trainer of coaches. The journey of expanding and growing ensures that I be a better person. With every hurdle I get over, I share and apply my experiences with others like you.

If you have a hurdle you need help with, do not hesitate to get in touch! It is never a bad idea to liberate yourself of any habit or limiting belief that keeps you back from your goals!

What is “Emotional Fitness”?

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Emotional fitness is a state of mind where you are able to maintain a stream of positive thoughts and thus be able to focus on creative and constructive tasks. It is recommended that one maintain their emotional fitness as it is the key to all aspects of our lives.

So how do you do harness emotional fitness?

There are a few tools I use. The first is Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) which was brought to the world by Gary Craig. The second is Timeline Therapy, an amazing technique created by Tad James. Lastly, I often meditate. My favourite two methods are the Wholeness Meditation by Schinta Abhavaratn and the Chakra Mediation by Deepak Chopra.

Hereeft_tapping_points is how you can use the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) to maintain your emotional fitness. EFT is all about tapping or massaging acupressure points on your head, face, and upper body. Tapping these pressure points, while deep breathing and repeating affirming statements welcomes a desired emotion or belief that you are resisting.

Did you know that an emotion is simply energy in motion?  And imagine that this motion simply flows through us if we were not afraid or resistant to it.  EFT works on your invisible body, what the Chinese call meridians. EFT works quickly to calm someone down or to change their mood within a few minutes.

EFT provided emotional support where I did not think there was any. When I was pregnant, our housekeeper passed away tragically in a road accident. I was incredibly shocked and traumatized. My friend suggested I do EFT. And through tapping, my intense emotional distress and shock reduced from a rating of 9/10 (extreme crying and panic, etc.) right down to 3/10 (where I could actually think straight about how I could assist his family with their immediate needs).

For a few weeks, I repeated the technique at least twice a day. The process provided me the emotional fitness to weather the storm. By being emotionally fit, I am aware, tuned in to my needs and others and able to flow with life’s ups and downs positively.

Everyone is different, so everyone will gravitate to different methods on finding one’s emotional fitness. The point is, we all need to find balance. Life has its shocks and awe, with your processes in hand, you can handle whatever comes forth!


I facilitate workshops in Emotional Fitness and Stress Management and also coach people individually on balancing their emotions. Let me know how I can get you and yours emotionally balanced.